I found myself editing the text in terms of images that were not quite clear to me, or that I thought could be written with more "pop": a sure sign that the story both engaged and provoked my senses.
I’ve read about half of this and am hooked. I was skeptical for about the first paragraph because it seemed to just be your own voice imposed upon this girl, but within another paragraph or two a shift occurred and I became enchanted with her and forgot all about you. Thanks for sharing it. I’m looking forward to more.
Wow. Man. This sucked me right in. Couldn’t stop listening. (Your voice helps.) I love it. You nail that feeling of emotional anarchy when graduating high school. It’s such a hinge moment in young life--between two worlds. The suicide stuff hit home. There’s a lot of clinical depression in my family on both sides. That and alcoholism. So I related a lot to that aspect as well. The narrator’s voice is a great mix of poetic and authentic which is not easy to do. I’m curious: How far into the book have you gotten? I look forward to buying it some day!
Thank you for sharing your gifts with us. I am mesmerized by your heartbreaking descriptions of intoxicating love, excruciating loss and how it feels to be suspended in a space we have no names for. I couldn’t stop reading.
Beautiful writing, and intrigued by this character. Just when I thought I was getting an impression of her, you reveal another layer that only deepens my curiosity :-)
This is such a great way to illuminate the essence of someone, especially a religious person: “A man who believed that faith was the only way into Heaven but who enjoyed caper movies where the criminals escaped.” I literally laughed on that one… and aren’t we all just trying to escape somehow to somewhere? Loved this whole thing, Sherman. Thank you.
PS. I was an abandoned newborn foundling born in Spokane and when I was found and handed over to the police who took me over to the nuns at Sacred Heart Hospital where the nuns named me Mary. I was baptized Catholic, too, but my adoptive parents named me Geraldine after my adoptive mom’s mother, who was killed in a car wreck when my mom was only ten. No wonder why I feel connected to your MartyJo.
I found myself editing the text in terms of images that were not quite clear to me, or that I thought could be written with more "pop": a sure sign that the story both engaged and provoked my senses.
You are still as trenchant and poignant as ever. Congrats once again,maestro. Very few writers can do the dialogue yew dew.
Thank you, Ernie.
Really like this story and waiting for more!
Thanks, Kathy.
I’ve read about half of this and am hooked. I was skeptical for about the first paragraph because it seemed to just be your own voice imposed upon this girl, but within another paragraph or two a shift occurred and I became enchanted with her and forgot all about you. Thanks for sharing it. I’m looking forward to more.
Thank you. It is quite the balancing act.
I’m intrigued by MartyJo’s voice and worldview. She’s a fitting narrator.
Looking forward to more!
I have the fourth draft of the full novel. A few more drafts to go...like maybe 14 more drafts..
Wow. Man. This sucked me right in. Couldn’t stop listening. (Your voice helps.) I love it. You nail that feeling of emotional anarchy when graduating high school. It’s such a hinge moment in young life--between two worlds. The suicide stuff hit home. There’s a lot of clinical depression in my family on both sides. That and alcoholism. So I related a lot to that aspect as well. The narrator’s voice is a great mix of poetic and authentic which is not easy to do. I’m curious: How far into the book have you gotten? I look forward to buying it some day!
Michael Mohr
‘Sincere American Writing’
https://michaelmohr.substack.com/
I've finished the third full draft so I'm beginning to think seriously where I might take it.
I'm hooked and want to know more about Marty Jo.
Thanks! I'm working away!
Wow. I love this. And your reading. I will get the book AND the book on tape if you read it. Looking forward to more .....
Thanks, Leigh!
Thank you for sharing your gifts with us. I am mesmerized by your heartbreaking descriptions of intoxicating love, excruciating loss and how it feels to be suspended in a space we have no names for. I couldn’t stop reading.
Thank you!
Beautiful writing, and intrigued by this character. Just when I thought I was getting an impression of her, you reveal another layer that only deepens my curiosity :-)
Thank you!
This is such a great way to illuminate the essence of someone, especially a religious person: “A man who believed that faith was the only way into Heaven but who enjoyed caper movies where the criminals escaped.” I literally laughed on that one… and aren’t we all just trying to escape somehow to somewhere? Loved this whole thing, Sherman. Thank you.
Thank you, Sean!
Glad you’re back. Was going to say in the saddle, but thought the better of it. Love the wit, the 80s nostalgia, the yearning.
Thank you, Joshua!
So excited to see this here, Sherman! Such great characterization in such a short space...
Thank you, Kim.
Ah, Sherman. Sometimes I think I can write. Then I read remarkable lines like these and have to reconsider:
"...they danced like they were wrapped in rope."
"I was the only child because my mother killed herself before she had another."
"The rooms were lined up , one behind the other, like little kids waiting for recess."
"...the place was drunk with field mice."
"There are some Lutherans I'd want you to steal.
You inspire me and always give me something to aspire to. Thank you.
Thank you for quoting lines! That gets me all proud!
Sherman the Word Slayer.
He strikes again.
Thank you, Tina.
I listened to you read this and I didn’t want it to end! Looking forward to the whole thing. 😊
PS. I was an abandoned newborn foundling born in Spokane and when I was found and handed over to the police who took me over to the nuns at Sacred Heart Hospital where the nuns named me Mary. I was baptized Catholic, too, but my adoptive parents named me Geraldine after my adoptive mom’s mother, who was killed in a car wreck when my mom was only ten. No wonder why I feel connected to your MartyJo.
Oh, wow, what a life story. So mich tragedy. And to be a foundling. I can't imagine what that would be like.