57 Comments

The hatred of the mother hurts her daughter as well as the young man. But the daughter will have to figure that out. It is the burden of successive generations to see through the prejudices of their own families, and move on the better for it.

Expand full comment
author

Yup

Expand full comment

In AA they say: Anger is sadness in a leather jacket.

Expand full comment
Jul 21, 2023·edited Jul 21, 2023Liked by Sherman Alexie

Wondering if the adjective you added was “completely” (first guess). Or was it “angry”? You had me thinking about your editing process.

Expand full comment
author

It was "angry"

Expand full comment
Jul 22, 2023Liked by Sherman Alexie

Love that change! Thanks for sharing.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks

Expand full comment

Oh Yeah!

Expand full comment

Had to do another explainer with my cunty dog trainer yesterday morning. White supremacy, especially coming from a hypocritical liberal is so exhaustive. And no, I won't engage in cunty pissing contests with my service dog, thank very much. Bitch.

Expand full comment

Jesus had anger issues. Can you imagine all that magnanimity chasing you down into a corner and beating your ass with a whip? What a surprise that must have been.

Expand full comment

I’m half Cree. This breaks my heart. ❤️

Expand full comment

Very poignant and powerful, and with a little wry humour too. One of the benefits of aging is becoming a but wiser and more understanding. Like Oscar Wilde said, youth is wasted on the young. Doesn't exonerate the mother though.

Expand full comment

True, and for good reason

Expand full comment
author

I'm married to a Native American woman but from a different tribe. I've taken to referring to our marriage as being Native Orthodoxy.

Expand full comment

Classic!

Expand full comment
Jul 21, 2023Liked by Sherman Alexie

Poignant poem. All kinds of echoes.

Anger being totally justified, but the question of where it is appropriate to direct it...

Maybe your girlfriend's mother imagined her whiteness being a focus for anger on the rez rather than her getting to know your family and friends and origins? Breaking down some walls by talking and laughing.rather than othering.

In my country we have Māori people who also have Pakeha (white) ancestry. Also: Chinese/Spanish/Indian/Jewish etc etc.

We don't have blood quantum rules.

Historically, marriages between tribes strengthened alliances. Some of our people won't look outside our culture for a partner. That's understandable.

Expand full comment
Jul 21, 2023·edited Jul 21, 2023Liked by Sherman Alexie

But her racism isn't just an acknowledgement, it's also a cause.

Expand full comment
Jul 21, 2023Liked by Sherman Alexie

💔

Expand full comment

Hmmm

Expand full comment

Very powerful. Anger is a very complicated emotion. These decades later, you understand that the mother was not completely wrong... and is this understanding also helped by some amount of anger that has accumulated in you, aimed at the mother who would not allow her daughter to visit the reservation? Maybe, like an echo that reverberates back and forth, the mother's act of forbidding stoked the anger even more, an anger which the mother had recognized, and had anticipated, and had made her want to protect her daughter from an anger that she herself, the mother, had helped stoke.

Expand full comment
author

You have me looking in the mirror!

Expand full comment

you might notice me in that same mirror too.

Expand full comment

Many years ago, while in Santa Fe, I played hooky from a conference I was attending, and spent a few hours at the Native American Art Museum. I saw a sculpture there that I will never forget. It was screaming with rage. I couldn't tear myself away from it. I kept going around to look at beautiful rugs and paintings and other wonderful things, all of which I have by now completely forgotten, and then returning again and again to the room with the sculpture. I think the artist was a student. I never wrote down his name. I have only a vague recollection of anything else in the museum (or at the conference), but this powerful sculpture that had burst out of an art student is etched in my memory.

Expand full comment
author

Yeah, I often have th same reaction with art in general.

Expand full comment

This is a quote from James Baldwin, it's exactly this:

“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive.”

Expand full comment