55 Comments

A very healing thing was said to me while in a manic state, that I had a good mind. Those words set my life in the right direction. Also, I was hilarious and the colors of this world were saturated. I feel privileged to have experienced it, and appreciate it didn't turn chronic. Good luck to you.

Expand full comment

I read a novel, whose title is escaping me right now, that described mania as “the radiance.”

Expand full comment

From lisping tenor deodorant through Depressed Indian shirts right down to the very thoughts of our so-called Lord and Savior, this is an absolutely surreal buffet if self-admonishment and pure wisdom declaring.

At one point it seemed like your intended audience may’ve slightly altered. Or maybe an afterburner to Jesus cranked up…

Regarding one’s Voice: my growing up in North Florida (yes, I am a ‘Florida Man), passing through four years in Tacoma, and more years than ever in Albuquerque…all lends credence to my unique voice. Love being on the radio or behind a microphone. I often think if one could just ‘hear’ my poetry vs seeing it, rejections would not have been so massively plentiful.

“YO SEF” is a funny phrase vaguely Southern, Black, or Redneck. I prefer it over “yo seLf”.

Describing your physical temple of doom as ORANGUTAN is immediately both funny and HARSH (to yourself).

Your Bathroom Stall Exit At a ‘reading’, totally freshly and chaotically great!

Kudos on digging deep for gems amidst the self-declared muck of it all.

When is this to be published?

Ps…Link to article in which Brian Cox declares that ‘Succession’ became more about Frump than Murdoch.

https://www.thewrap.com/brian-cox-succession-trump-roy-murdoch-roman

Jeff Hartzer

Expand full comment

Beautiful, thank you so much. You probably DO know what Jesus was thinking!

Expand full comment

JC:

”Get me the heck of a job Brownie, outta here!

Expand full comment

I don' recognize the quote!

Expand full comment

Dubya to the man in charge of recovery efforts during and after NOLA’s KATRINA.

Expand full comment

Oh, damn, and I just binged the first few episodes of Five Days at Memorial, the series on Apple TV about the tragedy at Memorial Hospital during and after Katrina.

Expand full comment

Ha!

Expand full comment

Thanks so much. Your writing is Holy. I listened while unpacking and reloading a bookshelf. Your work .... Blasphemy,,You Don't Have to Say You Love Me,War Dances is next to the Satanic Verses,Kurt Vonnegut Hocus Pocus and DFW Infinite Jest.

😁 I've been fortunate enough to be 1 of the 5000 twice. At Tucson High and UC Davis.

Expand full comment

Thank you so much!

Expand full comment

Still have the magical way with words! Mental health is now being talked about but there still seems to be a stigma attached to admitting to this type of it. You are very courageous to write and share this. - Over 20 some years ago, I believe I saw you in Children's Hospital ER; we both had very sick kids at the time. I looked twice just to make sure I was not seeing things from lack of sleep. You looked tired as well.

Expand full comment

Yes, we were in the NICU. A terrifying time. Our son is 25 now and doing well.

Expand full comment

Whoever you are, you are an exceptional human being. You are quite hard on yourself. Thank you for your years of sharing your life stories, your humor and wit. Your book about your mother was very touching. We often don’t realize a parent’s sacrifice until much later. Thank you for sharing your stories.

Expand full comment

Thank you, Luci.

Expand full comment

Reminds me of sitting in a bar, looking at the passed out patron at the other end of the bar and saying, "If I ever get that bad." I think you know the rest.

Expand full comment

Yup

Expand full comment

Yes, but have you been to Alaska?

Expand full comment

Johnny Horton!

Expand full comment

He the man.

Expand full comment

This is off track but I would love to know what writers you love/hate/are perplexed by/would like to throw in the rubbish, living or dead, would rescue from the fire, take with you to a desert island, etc.

Expand full comment

This is a great idea for a post. I will write an essay about my favorite stuff.

Expand full comment

I'm having trouble with the screen... this was both sad and funny, but tragic mostly. It made me feel terrible..

I don't want to romanticize mental illness, but given your talents and your experience and background and your journey through space and time in two different and antagonistic worlds, contained in one large brained body how could you be other than a capacious, warring, aesthete who seeks libidinous pleasures as much as the svelte elegance of the written word? You are inevitably creative, brilliant, irascible, bipolar, seeking contradictory goals with different tempos, the lope and the gallop at the same time. Everything all at once and no respite so the swinging pendulum reaching highs and lows may be your only break.

It must be exhausting to be you and as Fanon has pointed out, to be yourself complete and constantly aware of yourself from the interior but also to recognize the external garment you are clothed in for the world to interpret. ...The double consciousness that artists wear and which infuses their relationship with the audience and invigorates your stories.

No, you're not ugly! I don't think you have a radio voice either but I'm not skilled at defining the timbre of a voice. I know when a voice is a pleasure to listen to as yours is, and when it imparts wisdom and humor and poetry, as yours does. I like the well modulated NPR voice for delivering the news but prefer more passion and inflection in poets.

Please keep your ironic vision, your voice of both tragedy and humor, your eye for the specific telling detail, but don't descend into excessive self-abnegation which leads to bathos and may ultimately wear out your readers who feel badly because they cannot rescue you.

Expand full comment

Wow! Thanks for those words. I will take them to heart.

Expand full comment

The REVELATIOBS was both sad and funny, but sad 3ssevt7akky

Expand full comment

This is a hard writing to respond to adequately, impossible teakky

Expand full comment

It’s a very difficult subject matter.

Expand full comment

Hello my friend. I can't wait to read the complete memoir.

Expand full comment

Thank you, Alice.

Expand full comment

The tears, the tears. I can't even fully decide why, but they fall. You're one of the few things/people in this world that can make me laugh through the tears. I think you make me feel less alone, more understood. How we see ourselves and how others see us......such a dichotomy. I'm too much. Always too much. At least, that's how I see myself. Too loud, too opinionated, too deep. I think others may see me this way too and there's a constant inner fistfight trying to convince myself otherwise. But, we're still here. Still doing what we do, and for that, I'm grateful. Thank you.

Expand full comment

I’ll keep going. So will you, right?

Expand full comment

I have to.

Expand full comment

I’ve always found a self-deprecating sense of humor to be a sign of a good heart. I am never wrong on that.

Expand full comment

Thank you, Tim. In the memoir, I also write about how my humor can be a way to avoid difficult emotions.

Expand full comment

I just read the memoir for the third time, and I noticed the comment you made to one of the other people, and with all respect I realize that irrational grandiosity has been more of a danger. The reason I wrote that I liked the comment, is being down on oneself, which happens with bipolar, I have felt often I could use a little more grandiosity. I have bp2. So please bear with me.

Expand full comment

I understand, Mary. We all have our different sprints and marathons to run with our bipolar.

Expand full comment

Thanks, Sherman.

Expand full comment