Hmm..from the perspective of a white guy (DNA Scotland, Denmark, etc), I think the whole topic has gone too far. Heck recently on a discussion list, I mentioned of having lived in a reservation and innocently used the term "Native Americans" and was called a "racist"!? I was told that I must use the term "indigenous," not say Native America.
Great story, as usual, Sherman. Tender, funny, and enlightening. My own contribution: many decades ago, when I had yet to meet an American Indigenous person, an Indian American man and I were speaking and the word " Indian" came up. He said, smiling, "Dot or feather?"
I think most people realize that there are inadvertent racist comments that are largely innocuous that should be handled far differently than blatant and intentional racism.
I hear ya. White I am. I didn’t know who was native but some were in hood river. Large heritage Japanese orchardists and many Hispanics also some I worked with asa kid in orchards. One large black family and everyone I knew loved them. Yet rascism was an undercurrent.
On the Brown people nod: I'm white but I'm brown. Literally brown. And by that I mean all of my ancestry is European (mostly Northern Europe) but I've been asked which of my parents is Chinese, what tribe I'm from, asked for directions in Spanish, and asked thousands of times "where are you from? No, like..... *from-from*."
In my sophomore year of college, a friend who is Japanese/Chinese/Native Hawaiian/white told me about the brown people nod and said: "You're white, but you're brown, so you can nod too, you know. Try it." And so my whole life I have done just that and it's amounted to thousands of warm moments over the decades. I try to nod to my fellow white people, but they don't nod back. I often wonder if they don't nod back because I'm white-brown or if white people just don't do that. I was never raised that way and I think most white people regardless of geography just don't do it. Today, I have a biracial husband and an 11-year old daughter who is a quarter Chinese and starting to say "ya'll" in most conversations. A super introverted tween, she finds my habit of talking to strangers bizarre. She's also starting to see herself in the world as Chinese. I told her about the nod and said, "you can do it too. Just try it." She said that my being a white person pretending to be a brown person, even though I'm brown, in an unspoken nod culture was "offensive to her culture." :) But I'm not giving up my nodding rights. Thanks for articulating all the complexity of trying to be a good human!
I hope my last post wasn’t misunderstood. It is a minefield for Native Americans and any other group or person who is not white. And it’s getting so much worse. White privilege is real. But I’ve worked my entire life with people all over the world and made many friends. It is unbearable to see what is happening now. But my only wish is that Sherman Alexis have a wonderful reception to his new production produced by him and other native people in N Washington state! Best of luck!
I enjoyed this, thanks Sherman. My great grandparents are from Scotland, I love and am proud of that. (Clan Chattan.) My dad is Robert Bruce Smith, my mom is Norma June Gillespie. So, I am a white person, but apparently my appearance is ambiguous as well. To white people. Only them. I got invited to coffee when I first moved here. I didn't have many friends and accepted. After we sat down she asked me how it was growing up as a mixed race person.
In my race within my race is nonending thoughts about Color which determines they way in which you are treated abd it appears to be long lasting scar that never heals my family and all the ugly asides are lasting tramas that you will carry always comment to darker persons are met with stay out of the sun marry a light ski persona d the Sha e of the paper bag test I was a victim I
am a light brown color my parents vacationed in Martha's vineyard I was with a friend who was yellow redefined there is a each called the ink well so called due to the fact that it was the only beach blacks could use I feel great disgust about it my friend and I went socialized we went to sit on their beach blanket my friend had problems the man no not you ARE YOUR LIGHTER THAN THAT PAPERBAG NO YOU CANNOT SIT ON MY BLANKET HIS SKIN SO BLACK IT GLOWED PURPLE U DER THE SUN THE WOME. ON HIS BLANKET WERE BLACK BUT THEY ALL LOOKED LIKE LEE REMICK THE LAUGHT SO HARDY THAT I COULD FEEL THE PAIN OF LITTLE BLACK SAMBO AND LITTLE IODINE TO THIS DAY I CAN STILL REMEMBER THE K OWING LAUGHTER THAT RIPPED INTO MY SPIRIT SHERMAN SORRY LONG TEXT BUT THE ISSUE OF COLOR MAD BY A BLACK PRESON LONG AGO IN THE THOES OF SLAVERY HAS CONTAMINATER A GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO SWALLOWED THAT POISION ABD CAN'T REGURGITATE THE PAIN IT IS SO DEEP IT CAN NEVER TRANSFORM OR BE REJECTED SO MUCH PAIN
Woooww, I am just now navigating this a bit. I (ww) was sick over the weekend and I have this turmeric and ginger tea that is incredible for helping make me feel better. But, like many types of soup, I only drink it when I'm sick. I was telling some parents about this and one is Indian Candadian. I feel like this might have felt denegrating to her and I want to apologize, but I also don't want to put her in an uncomfortable place even more so than I already have.
Well said! Agreed in all ways and particularly "social construct" as a way to dismiss real world effects. As an Aspie women (no longer appropriate to use Asperger's any longer, BTW) always trying to discern the appropriate social mores, these unspoken 'rules' of cautiousness are so trying!
I wish everyone could be more forgiving of innocent mistakes, or use them for gentle teaching moments instead of going into attack mode. I tread so carefully for fear of offending, but I've also been on the receiving end and I'd like to think that I've figured out the difference between when someone is being racist (the kid who called me and my sister "dirty Jews" when we were in elementary school, even though we practiced excellent hygiene at all times) and when someone honestly doesn't know better — the time my father-in-law used the term "Jewed me down" in a very matter-of-fact way while telling a story about a shopping outing. My father-in-law grew up primarily in farming communities in Alberta, Canada. He probably didn't meet anyone Jewish until he went to university in a city where there were Jews. He'd never been anything but kind to me, so when he said, "Jewed him down" I was shocked. I was not in the habit of correcting my father-in-law. I wasn't in the habit of correcting any adult, really, even though I was probably close to 40 at the time. I chose to believe that he said what he did not because he was anti-Semetic, but because he'd probably heard the phrase growing up and had no clue as to its context. "That's not a nice thing to say, Bill," I said to him as calmly and gently as I could. "It's really inappropriate — like saying someone 'welshed' on a deal." I made my point, he understood, and as far as I know, he hasn't used that phrase since.
Thank you Sherman, I appreciate the racist/not racist story, growing up on the rez then moving to Phoenix, I have experienced racism but not extremely. I look at it as life lessons, I'm sure all people have experiences that we can look back on. Garcia
Thanks, Sherman. I'm the 80 yr old white widow of a Puerto Rican man. Our kids have been mistaken for every nationality under the sun. Their kids too. My favorite is my then 9 yr old granddaughter's response to an angry question " what color are you anyway? ". " I'm Golden"
Your story is reminiscent of many experiences I have had. My mom is Ashkenazi Jew, and we are in San Francisco. People speak Russian, Japanese, Spanish, and a few other languages with her, because she blends well enough. It always makes her happy to be seen as non-white, and confused as she is pretty much monolingual. But she is a talker and people person, so inevitably it sparks a conversation.
I try to add modifiers and adjectives in situations like you described. I (if I caught myself in time) would have said, "and delicious curry." When I don't catch myself, I just accept that I often suffer from 'foot in mouth disease.'
If DEI and antiracism were taught via your writings and via sharing experiences it may have had more success and less division. Your style is so accessible. 🤙🙏🫶
Hmm..from the perspective of a white guy (DNA Scotland, Denmark, etc), I think the whole topic has gone too far. Heck recently on a discussion list, I mentioned of having lived in a reservation and innocently used the term "Native Americans" and was called a "racist"!? I was told that I must use the term "indigenous," not say Native America.
Great story, as usual, Sherman. Tender, funny, and enlightening. My own contribution: many decades ago, when I had yet to meet an American Indigenous person, an Indian American man and I were speaking and the word " Indian" came up. He said, smiling, "Dot or feather?"
I think most people realize that there are inadvertent racist comments that are largely innocuous that should be handled far differently than blatant and intentional racism.
I hear ya. White I am. I didn’t know who was native but some were in hood river. Large heritage Japanese orchardists and many Hispanics also some I worked with asa kid in orchards. One large black family and everyone I knew loved them. Yet rascism was an undercurrent.
On the Brown people nod: I'm white but I'm brown. Literally brown. And by that I mean all of my ancestry is European (mostly Northern Europe) but I've been asked which of my parents is Chinese, what tribe I'm from, asked for directions in Spanish, and asked thousands of times "where are you from? No, like..... *from-from*."
In my sophomore year of college, a friend who is Japanese/Chinese/Native Hawaiian/white told me about the brown people nod and said: "You're white, but you're brown, so you can nod too, you know. Try it." And so my whole life I have done just that and it's amounted to thousands of warm moments over the decades. I try to nod to my fellow white people, but they don't nod back. I often wonder if they don't nod back because I'm white-brown or if white people just don't do that. I was never raised that way and I think most white people regardless of geography just don't do it. Today, I have a biracial husband and an 11-year old daughter who is a quarter Chinese and starting to say "ya'll" in most conversations. A super introverted tween, she finds my habit of talking to strangers bizarre. She's also starting to see herself in the world as Chinese. I told her about the nod and said, "you can do it too. Just try it." She said that my being a white person pretending to be a brown person, even though I'm brown, in an unspoken nod culture was "offensive to her culture." :) But I'm not giving up my nodding rights. Thanks for articulating all the complexity of trying to be a good human!
I hope my last post wasn’t misunderstood. It is a minefield for Native Americans and any other group or person who is not white. And it’s getting so much worse. White privilege is real. But I’ve worked my entire life with people all over the world and made many friends. It is unbearable to see what is happening now. But my only wish is that Sherman Alexis have a wonderful reception to his new production produced by him and other native people in N Washington state! Best of luck!
I enjoyed this, thanks Sherman. My great grandparents are from Scotland, I love and am proud of that. (Clan Chattan.) My dad is Robert Bruce Smith, my mom is Norma June Gillespie. So, I am a white person, but apparently my appearance is ambiguous as well. To white people. Only them. I got invited to coffee when I first moved here. I didn't have many friends and accepted. After we sat down she asked me how it was growing up as a mixed race person.
Thank you Sherma
In my race within my race is nonending thoughts about Color which determines they way in which you are treated abd it appears to be long lasting scar that never heals my family and all the ugly asides are lasting tramas that you will carry always comment to darker persons are met with stay out of the sun marry a light ski persona d the Sha e of the paper bag test I was a victim I
am a light brown color my parents vacationed in Martha's vineyard I was with a friend who was yellow redefined there is a each called the ink well so called due to the fact that it was the only beach blacks could use I feel great disgust about it my friend and I went socialized we went to sit on their beach blanket my friend had problems the man no not you ARE YOUR LIGHTER THAN THAT PAPERBAG NO YOU CANNOT SIT ON MY BLANKET HIS SKIN SO BLACK IT GLOWED PURPLE U DER THE SUN THE WOME. ON HIS BLANKET WERE BLACK BUT THEY ALL LOOKED LIKE LEE REMICK THE LAUGHT SO HARDY THAT I COULD FEEL THE PAIN OF LITTLE BLACK SAMBO AND LITTLE IODINE TO THIS DAY I CAN STILL REMEMBER THE K OWING LAUGHTER THAT RIPPED INTO MY SPIRIT SHERMAN SORRY LONG TEXT BUT THE ISSUE OF COLOR MAD BY A BLACK PRESON LONG AGO IN THE THOES OF SLAVERY HAS CONTAMINATER A GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO SWALLOWED THAT POISION ABD CAN'T REGURGITATE THE PAIN IT IS SO DEEP IT CAN NEVER TRANSFORM OR BE REJECTED SO MUCH PAIN
Woooww, I am just now navigating this a bit. I (ww) was sick over the weekend and I have this turmeric and ginger tea that is incredible for helping make me feel better. But, like many types of soup, I only drink it when I'm sick. I was telling some parents about this and one is Indian Candadian. I feel like this might have felt denegrating to her and I want to apologize, but I also don't want to put her in an uncomfortable place even more so than I already have.
Well said! Agreed in all ways and particularly "social construct" as a way to dismiss real world effects. As an Aspie women (no longer appropriate to use Asperger's any longer, BTW) always trying to discern the appropriate social mores, these unspoken 'rules' of cautiousness are so trying!
I wish everyone could be more forgiving of innocent mistakes, or use them for gentle teaching moments instead of going into attack mode. I tread so carefully for fear of offending, but I've also been on the receiving end and I'd like to think that I've figured out the difference between when someone is being racist (the kid who called me and my sister "dirty Jews" when we were in elementary school, even though we practiced excellent hygiene at all times) and when someone honestly doesn't know better — the time my father-in-law used the term "Jewed me down" in a very matter-of-fact way while telling a story about a shopping outing. My father-in-law grew up primarily in farming communities in Alberta, Canada. He probably didn't meet anyone Jewish until he went to university in a city where there were Jews. He'd never been anything but kind to me, so when he said, "Jewed him down" I was shocked. I was not in the habit of correcting my father-in-law. I wasn't in the habit of correcting any adult, really, even though I was probably close to 40 at the time. I chose to believe that he said what he did not because he was anti-Semetic, but because he'd probably heard the phrase growing up and had no clue as to its context. "That's not a nice thing to say, Bill," I said to him as calmly and gently as I could. "It's really inappropriate — like saying someone 'welshed' on a deal." I made my point, he understood, and as far as I know, he hasn't used that phrase since.
Thank you Sherman, I appreciate the racist/not racist story, growing up on the rez then moving to Phoenix, I have experienced racism but not extremely. I look at it as life lessons, I'm sure all people have experiences that we can look back on. Garcia
Bless you. And congrats on the new book!
Thanks, Sherman. I'm the 80 yr old white widow of a Puerto Rican man. Our kids have been mistaken for every nationality under the sun. Their kids too. My favorite is my then 9 yr old granddaughter's response to an angry question " what color are you anyway? ". " I'm Golden"
enlightening and amusing...great comments from your intelligent readers
Your story is reminiscent of many experiences I have had. My mom is Ashkenazi Jew, and we are in San Francisco. People speak Russian, Japanese, Spanish, and a few other languages with her, because she blends well enough. It always makes her happy to be seen as non-white, and confused as she is pretty much monolingual. But she is a talker and people person, so inevitably it sparks a conversation.
I try to add modifiers and adjectives in situations like you described. I (if I caught myself in time) would have said, "and delicious curry." When I don't catch myself, I just accept that I often suffer from 'foot in mouth disease.'
If DEI and antiracism were taught via your writings and via sharing experiences it may have had more success and less division. Your style is so accessible. 🤙🙏🫶