super cool to witness the process of this story being born. Thanks for including us in the process, Sherman. It felt like the young heart started beating with this installment.
May 18, 2022·edited May 18, 2022Liked by Sherman Alexie
There is enough world-building here to be a novella. If so, perhaps using Linda's poem sentences as chapter headers might be interesting as she's the character in the middle, the mirror whose reflection seems to create the images these men have of each other all the years after they met as roommates.
The silence where men refuse to communicate their feelings to one another is a No-Man's Land that takes no prisoners. This is good work, my friend!
Great story. The only thing I might add, as an ex-logger, is about "a man cutting his knee in half with a chainsaw." Maybe: "cut his leg off at the knee," because cutting a knee in half implies a cut that goes halfway through the knee, which is bad enough, but comparative anatomy starts with dissecting a lot of formaldehyde cats and sharks, so there's that.
Your characters have depth and believability. I like the few physical details, and the large emotional ones.
Please keep typing. I NEED to know what’s happening with Gabriel, Paul, and Linda, AND Bucky’s serrated knee!
LOL!
super cool to witness the process of this story being born. Thanks for including us in the process, Sherman. It felt like the young heart started beating with this installment.
I Love character depth and background. Ready for the next rewrite or the final.
There is enough world-building here to be a novella. If so, perhaps using Linda's poem sentences as chapter headers might be interesting as she's the character in the middle, the mirror whose reflection seems to create the images these men have of each other all the years after they met as roommates.
The silence where men refuse to communicate their feelings to one another is a No-Man's Land that takes no prisoners. This is good work, my friend!
Omigod, this is great! I can't wait to read more.
Great story. The only thing I might add, as an ex-logger, is about "a man cutting his knee in half with a chainsaw." Maybe: "cut his leg off at the knee," because cutting a knee in half implies a cut that goes halfway through the knee, which is bad enough, but comparative anatomy starts with dissecting a lot of formaldehyde cats and sharks, so there's that.