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Jan Myhre's avatar

At first I smiled, and then I grinned! By the time I finished the whole 33 I was laughing out loud. My writing is still a private thing for me. So happy to be a fan of yours!

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Sherman Alexie's avatar

Thank you, Jan.

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Reena Kapoor's avatar

#12 is sad. #14 shocked me.

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Sherman Alexie's avatar

#14 often surprises and shocks. I think the non-Indian reader's search for "authenticity" can make them vulnerable to literary grifters.

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Reena Kapoor's avatar

People are so lost. I used to be an atheist. Now I’m not so sure, given our self invented gods turned out so lightweight.

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Steve Chapple's avatar

Too true (as far as I know!)

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Jennifer  Wright-Berryman PhD's avatar

11. I just read a book and went back to the jacket blurbs to double check I wasn’t missing something because nothing the blurb said actually happened in the book. I blinked rapidly but the fiction blurb about the fiction book was still there.

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Sherman Alexie's avatar

The fictional blurb! Hahahaha!

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Rafia's avatar

I have at least one, if not two, notable examples to contradict #13:

Arabesques, by Anton Shammas (1988)

Prisoner of Love, by Jean Genet (1986)

Reading both now, and having the sort of reading-related religious experience that makes religion seem really quite puny.

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Antonia Malchik's avatar

Now going to go and read Martha Grimes’s “Foul Matter” again because writers skewering the publishing industry with truth is one of my favorite genres (it also makes me laugh every time, especially when the exhausted aspiring poet describes his weekend attempting to write at Yaddo; it’s hilarious and painfully true).

Just yesterday I was trying to explain to my dad how the MFA/workshop circuit is a pyramid scheme. Will just send him this instead. Thanks!

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Sherman Alexie's avatar

There are great writers who come out of MFA programs! Somebody makes money off Amway! Ha!

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Antonia Malchik's avatar

😅

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Ladypajama's avatar

woah. #15

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James Harris's avatar

All good advice. I also find owning at least two pens a good idea, and if possible some paper. Otherwise try and have a ticket stub handy.

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Gregor's avatar

They say school teachers act the age of the students they teach, so the YA indictment makes sense

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Sherman Alexie's avatar

Good point!

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Lawrie Hunter's avatar

Dear Sherman,

Speaking of murder mysteries, I wonder if you have read any Fred Vargas? Her "The Chalk Circle Man" was a peak experience for me.

Lawrie

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Sherman Alexie's avatar

Have not read that one

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Amy Matsumoto's avatar

One thing that has always drawn me to your writing is your blunt honesty. The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, was the first book I read of yours that made me understand how important it is for many of us that had tough beginnings to get our story out. (I’m half Mexican & also went to school in Reardan from 3rd-6th grade). This was a book that I wished was around when I was younger. However, that book also got a group of “too good for school” group of boys in my 8th grade ell class to start reading & wanting more. Now, at 50 I’m doing the reading, taking the writing classes & putting in the work. Whenever I feel lost in this literary world that seems to have their types of truths that are more glossed over…I pick up your book & read a few lines to help me feel grounded again.

Keep doing you! It makes a difference

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Sherman Alexie's avatar

Whoa, you were at Reardan with my little brother, James? Maybe he would've been in first grade when you were in sixth? So many Spokane Indians go to Reardan now—so many that there's a waiting list for kids from the Rez to transfer in. There's a ton of true diaries happening now.

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Amy Matsumoto's avatar

Yeah! And that means, my sister would have been in second grade. Small world! I can still recall the faces of my 2nd-6th grade teachers; some more favorites than others. Did you ever have Mr. Jay! He was the one that made me fall in love with reading! I also recall students still receiving hacks there too. When I tell other educators that, I’m not sure they believe me. Do you recall the same?

I’d love to attend your event in Bellingham, but unfortunately my students have finals that day, and there isn’t any time in between to make it, but if you are ever in the PDX area, know you have some major Alexie fans here too.

Ps. My husband and I own this pretty legit Southern Italian restaurant in Vancouver, Wa…so if you & your family make your way over…let me know:)

You’ll be our guests! Www.lasorrentinavw.com

My diary is how a Mexican American went to Japan as an English teacher, married a Japanese chef, and opened up an Italian restaurant in the ‘Couve! lol

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Sherman Alexie's avatar

I had Mrs Jorgenson in Eighth Grade. In high school, Ms. Balum was my English teacher all four years. She follows me here on Substack. Your true diary is awesome!

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Monique Wohlgemuth's avatar

Your writing is illuminating. I have read the Absolutely True Diary of a Part Time Indian. I just finished listening to You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me. Your voice filled my ears, as my heart filled with the stories of people I grew up beside. The community I grew up in had more First Nations people than white. As a child in a happy home, I saw the pain of my neighbors, but dimly. You have shown me that pain from the inside. Thank you.

I want to put your books on my shelf so my boys can read them when they are ready. When they wonder what the truth is, I can show them a piece of it through your books. Thank you.

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Sherman Alexie's avatar

Thanks, Monique.

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T. Scott Plutchak's avatar

These are so great. thank you.

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Sherman Alexie's avatar

Thanks!

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Patricia Dubrava's avatar

Wonderful list! A few responses to five of them:

6. Fiction writers are kinder than poets.

I’ve encountered SOBs in both genres myself. Also delightful, kind people. What I noted about poets, years ago, was a greater impulse toward being performative, even exhibitionist.

12. Over the years, I have encountered more and more writers who’ve only read books published in their lifetimes.

How sad. “…a bundle of pawnbrokers’ duplicates, those turnpike tickets on the road of Poverty…” A quote from Bleak House, Charles Dickens, which I just read. What a shame to miss the inspiration of such ancestors.

21. …in the 1990s the small press world included blue collar writers and white collar writers who worked out of academia. These days, the MFA writer-professors hold a monopoly in small press publishing. All monopolies are bad for us.

I agree! Yet even in the 70s-80s—my heydays as a poet—writers complained about academia’s dominance, although those of us outside the ivied walls were snobbishly proud of our status.

22. As for your prodigious rate of reading: no reader; no writer. I rest my case.

33. I’ll be writing poems on my deathbed.

I read once that on his deathbed, Henry James’ hands moved over the sheets as if he were writing, and though unconscious, he surely was composing that last impeccable sentence.

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Sherman Alexie's avatar

I think the performative nature of poets leads directly to their meanness. Bleak House! Need to start a journal that only publishes people who worked fast food.

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Steve Chapple's avatar

Ray Carver at the end?

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Myq Kaplan's avatar

dear sherman,

this is great! some of my faves:

"Bestselling writers want to win more critical acclaim and awards while critically-acclaimed and award-winning writers want to sell more copies."

"The writers of biographies reveal far more about themselves than they would if they wrote autobiographies."

"I read two or three books a week. That’s probably the primary reason why I’m a good writer."

"Don’t be a snob about reading. Be a snob about writing."

"I’ll be writing poems on my deathbed."

thank you for sharing!

love

myq

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Imola's avatar

I just LOVED, LOVED this!! I laughed out loud, but it was often an uncomfortable laugh (which is the best kind of laugh!). So many things piqued my curiosity... why prose writers are kinder than poets, and why YA writers are the worst?

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Sherman Alexie's avatar

Prose writers are more naturally patient, I think.

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Imola's avatar

Interesting. I started with writing plays, then moved on to writing prose, and now I’m writing more poetry. It must mean I’m getting impatient… :)

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